Monthly Archives: September 2012

Cafe con leche

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I have mentioned how much i love coffee? It saves my life. and I can get it for 99 cents at the campus store. Its not the best, but it is coffee. 

Now that there is coffee in my system, I am able to start writing now. Stay tuned for new stuff!

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Rule #4 Accept only the amazing, not the ordinary.

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Let me tell you this. Dating when you’re like me, or any eccentric light-skinned educated black woman, royally sucks. You fit in with no one race therefore dating is even more a nightmare than usual. I’ve never dated my own race but i have dated men of other races.

I had a friend ask me about this guy I ‘met’ at his party. He wanted to know what happened after we left the party together. Nothing. I do not talk about the details in my life, which includes kissing and telling. What i will explain is the line that you will forever get in the world being like we are. My most favorite line ever…

I want to be with you but……*insert excuse*

This line is a cop-out. Not just because they are trying to get into your pants but because they only wanted to be with you for the thrill. The thrill of telling all their friends that they have kissed a black girl, which ultimately beats out their friends’ whole love life history; rendering it irrelevant. This phrase is followed by another phrase…

If things were different, I would choose you to be my girlfriend

This is also another lie. He just used you for a thrill. He wants to be with you but he knows that his parents wont accept a black girl. (I’ve dated that guy too!) I had a guy ask me to be his girlfriend. No, I didn’t force him to ask me, he just did. We were happy for a weekend and then, he just stopped talking to me. He would say good morning, good night, and I was so sweet. I tried my hardest not to be annoying and bother him but i desperately wanted his attention. He was friends with my friends and had time to go to lunch with them, but he never had time for me, which I ignored but then I told him, “I want a relationship, not an acquaintance in which I feel ignored.” Needless to say I found out he was too chicken shit to tell me that he wasn’t coming back to school the next year and he felt awful for not telling me or breaking up with me and didnt want to do the long distance thing with him going off to wherever the hell he was going. I cant say that we are friends still because every text I send him just hurts too much. I dont hate him though. He is still an amazing person.

I’ve also crushed on a guy who was simply intelligent and funny. We had intellectual conversations about everything from planets, space, Clear Channel, Doctor Who, Matt Smith Vs David Tennant etc. I think the reason i liked him was because he could keep up with me. When we hung out, I had to keep up with him not the other way around. Our strange friendship fell apart when he found out i liked him and then he told me that i wasnt his type. I find it classy because he handled it like a man and didnt hate me for liking him. Instead he actually tried to make the friendship worked. Very Classy.

We all wish situations were different but to sit around and wait for things to change wont do anything in your favor. I am just happy being friends with great people. What I love about guys is that, being different, it’s like they let you in. I have had guys tell me their deepest darkest secrets in confidence, and ask me for advice on…..everything! Girls that chase guys never get to see this side of men and I am so blessed to be able to see guys for who they really are.

On the flip side though, I decide who I date. I dont want to just date a guy because he likes me, i want to like him too. I want a guy who doesnt see my color but the awkwardness behind the huge breasts. The quirk, the jive. Everything else!

So my advice is, never chase a guy because a guy who really wants to be with you will make it happen! It takes a special guy to be able to see past the color, ignore the whispers behind his back, embrace the unusually and be able to keep up without grounding you, and stifling your voice. But first, you must love and embrace yourself first. Ignore to stares and whispers behind your back before you ask a guy to do the same.

Day 2 of blogging: 20 facts about me

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Ive done the introduction long ago so i’m starting with day two. 

1. My real name is Jacqueline
2. I have no siblings
3. I was raised by my mother
4. I have two dogs and a cat
5. I love music, it can mend a broken heart, change a mood and save a life. 
6. I believe in God. Dont try to convince me otherwise because i’ll just smile and pray for you. Not one person is the same and you can’t judge someone just because they are different.
7. I subscribe to no stereotype
8. I am not mixed, just light skinned
9. I’ve had 3 boyfriends, all white
10. My favorite animal is a blue-footed booby, a bird from the Galapagos 
11. My favorite thing to do in life is meet people. I love meeting and learning about the people I see everyday.
12. I am a Trekky. My favorite series is the original series. Then Deep Space nine
13. I love veggies and fruits 
14. I’m allergic to bananas, bleach and every once in a while, i have gluten issues. 
15. My favorite drink is cuban coffee. Mom got me addicted. 
16. I am incredibly close to my mom and grandma. I would rather stay at home with them then go party with friends.
17. I get bored with people which is why i dont date. Once i have you, you only hold me down. I’ll stay because it makes you happy.
18. I love soft summer music like Joe Brooks, Justine Nozuka, Jason Mraz, Colbie Cailliet, Rob Thomas, Eric Hutchinson, The Script, Norah Jones, Paolo Nutini, and Gavin Degraw. 
19. My sister/best friend is Kim. She is probably the greatest person i have ever met in my life. She is the one person who has accepted me completely for me and never judges. She has a beautiful son and a husband. The most beautiful person in the world.
20. I have less than a year left of school and then i go to graduate school. Super excited. 

Well that’s me, have fun! Hope you enjoyed

Rule #3: When they stare, smile at them!

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I’m sitting here eating breakfast, thinking about how much I want some coffee, and nothing is more annoying than to have someone staring at you. When you look over, they are no longer staring, so you go back to your work. But the moment you get engulfed in your work, there they are staring again! My grandma tells me i’m paranoid but my peripheral vision tells me otherwise because the moment you look back at them, they slip up, make eye contact and start  scrambling for something to make it seem like they weren’t just staring.

For me, it’s not the blatant staring that bothers me. It’s when they start whispering to their friends, and their friends start to stare and then a giggle erupts. Then I begin to feel self-conscious because someone said something about me that was apparently  knee-slapper. Living in florida, no one gives a damn what you wear or what you look like. You could be wearing a thong and some duct tape, and the only people to stare would be women with children or horny men.

Living in the south, Everyone stares! Walk in a room and everyone turns around in their chair to see who you are. No joke! I feel like i’m living in the safari and encountered a herd of prairie dogs. When i open my mouth, everyone stops and listens to my conversation while staring and sizing me up, just because I sound like a “yankee.” This type of shameless staring can make the most confident person lose their mind but i’ve gotten to the point where i smile back. Often i find my own race turning their nose up to me because im different. My own resident hall director in my dorm wont make eye contact with me nor will she respond to me when i talk.

Therefore ive decided to smile at them. Some people will smile back or say good morning. But there are also people who look away immediately or give me bitch face. Either way, do it anyway! Show them that you’re friendly and your starring doesn’t bother me! Wear what you want and embrace your everything!