I know what im about to say is probably going to disturb my parents greatly, but let me say this with the greatest….. discretion I possibly can..
The average guy is either a top or a bottom. Yes. this has to do with sex, but hear me out.
I date these often. They are the guys who go through all the romance, lights, performances, says the right words, listens to what I say, etc. But these guys are also easier to push over an they are not dominant. Its always “Omg, am I hurting you? Am I doing alright? Am I a good boyfriend?” These may seem like harmless questions, but to the trained eye, if this guy is constantly saying this over and over again. This is a clear sign the guy is damaged, passive and has low self-esteem. It is alright for a guy to ask this once or twice, but when it gets to the point that you are thinking of better, more diverse answers, just to shake it up, you may have a bottom on your hands. If you told this guy he is an asshole, he will more than likely cry and constantly ask what he do to change it. I dated one who was close to his mother and acted like a baby when he went to visit, almost busting out in tears when his mother didn’t buy whole milk and his favorite microwave pizzas. These guys are also a three thrust shooter, please dont ask if you dont know what it means, just think about. Another guy I dated prided himself on being so quiet that no one else could understand why I liked him. He would just sit there and not say anything and give one word answers. In my family, if youre dating someone who is incredibly quiet, they will pick on him. Which happened once but the guy was so passive that he made a statement but got scared because he spoke more than word. He never spoke of the situation again.
So far I have dated one. Complete surprise to me but let me just say that “Three thrust shooter” is rare in this area. These guys are experimental with such things in the bed area, and also tell it like it is. They never disappoint. But, all is fun until it gets in public. These guys are not necessarily romantic. They have their moments but take my advice, take nothing they say serious. I would like to call these guys alpha males. They know what they want, how to get it and are completely confident about themselves. On the other hand, they are not necessarily “feelings” oriented either. These guys are more likely to tell you your outfit looks like shit. But its not because they aren’t attracted to you or trying to hurt your feelings, you asked their opinion and they gave it to you. Its up to you to be strong and know yourself before dating someone with such a strong opinion. Great thing is, if they do something that absolutely annoys the shit out you, dont keep it bundled up, because they will keep doing it. They cant read your mind if something annoys you! Best thing to do is, after they do it, tell them they do that an awful lot and its not exactly becoming of them nor is it an acceptable thing to say/do. I think this applies to all guys though.
I don’t necessarily like to put people in categories because i dont subscribe to any stereotype myself. But, from experience, I am no longer dating bottoms. I am way too dominant for that. If something I say hurts your feelings, freaking suck it up! Not everyone is going to have the same opinions as you. I dislike guys who dont know what they want and that you cant have an opinion with. Two people should be able to be friends while dating. Not everyone needs to know that you and that guy are dating. I’m not necessarily all about Tops either. It all comes down to the person and personality. If you find a passive bottom or an alpha top who compliments you completely, congrats! That is amazing and all that matters.
“Never let anybody put you down who you with.”