I posted the video Conceited by Remy Ma for many reasons. Let me first set the record straight. I am a entertainment business major so i listen to all types of music, so just because i post a rap video does not make me a hood rat, a ghetto bitch, or a statistic. I have the right to listen to what I want. Last night, I listened to Justin Beiber and this morning I was singing Ur So Gay by Katy Perry.
But I posted this video because it made me realize something. Yes, this video and song is very materialistic and ghetto but I can always see things in another view. Remy Ma is a 30 year old Grammy Nominated rapper from the Bronx. I like this song Conceited by her because it makes a valid point. Two sets of lyrics stood out to me from this song:
Miraculous, phenomenal and
Ain’t nobody in here stopping you
Show no love ‘cus you whut’s up
Look at ya self in the mirror like what da fuck
Damn I look good and can’t nobody freak it like I could
Yeah okay I got a little fat butt
My shorty tell me he like it like that
See I look to good to be fuckin’ you
And I look to good to be loving you
You know, I look way to good to stuck with you
I’m conceited I got a reason
I felt like i agree with her. What I got was that you need to be a little bit conceited with yourself to create some kind of confidence. My favorite quote is from The Perks of Being A WallFlower.( We Accept the love we think we deserve. )Completely true! I have had so many friends who dont like themselves who end up with complete assholes! I have a friend now who works and attends school 24/7. She acts like a battered wife waiting around in quiet rooms for her boyfriend to get home. When she invites me to hang out with her, she doesnt ask “Hey! Lets go shopping or get coffee” instead its “Hey, wanna hang out until my boyfriend gets off work.” We spend the next 3 hours sitting in her car, trying to decide what to do, usually ending up in his place of work, walking around and starring at him while he works. I know it sounds petty of me to complain, but thats not the end of the story. The last time we were together, her boyfriend got in the car with a pissy attitude, which, to me, was normal. He was mad for no real reason besides hating his job. When my friend told him about getting her check for the difference off her student loan, he yelled at her.
“I dont see why you needed to get a loan! Youve been able to pay for school without one all this time, you need to return that shit!” She responded by telling him how she failed two classes last semester because she tried to work a lot to pay for her semester. Well… he just kept yelling saying how she never did anything when he was around. She just sat around on her ass and a little more work wouldnt hurt her. The girl was exhausted! Basically, i was sitting in the middle of an argument where he just yelled at her and she accepted it, retreating almost to tears. She had settled for an asshole! I could never tell her this but all the joy and laughter had turned to anxiety about making sure he was happy and catering to his every whim instead of having fun with her friends. She could do so much better! but because she is a bigger girl, she continues to date him instead accepting how amazing she is and that being alone for a while wont hurt you.
So my sixth rule is to be a bit conceited. I have often fallen for the trap of thinking i was incredibly blessed that one guy found me attractive, even if he was ugly, perverted, a jerk, etc. I was acting desperate just because im a bigger girl. Then i saw this video and realized something….. IM BLACK. I dont have to conform to societies image of a body. Black women are seen as sexy thick women who have curves. We have more muscle tone for its hard to get a space between our thighs. So to see her being proud and not settling for men made me want to change my way of thinking.
Women just are not conceited enough. I mean, there are some self-absorbed ones but I’m wondering. What would happen if every woman stopped dating men who just asked you out to get their fuck on, the men who only hit on them for a one night stand. What if they looked at the men, or at themselves and think “I look way too good to be fucking him”? Am i crazy? because I think that about a guy i know now, that is bad for me now and I feel 300% better about saying that to him. I feel like saying it gives me permission to move on to the next guy. I just usually feel this obligation to date this person because it doesnt happen very often that a guy likes me. But it doesnt excuse bad behavior or luke warm feelings. As women, we should be allowed to say no and love ourselves, regardless of how unattractive others think we are. WE can have standards!!
No man should make you feel like shit just because you’re different. Because i bet, you’re incredibly sexy, and just don’t know it yet. ;-P
The way I see it happening is like that scene in Crazy. Stupid. Love. where Steve Carrell’s character returns, after getting laid, and completely rules that bar. So, for the next month, im gonna test it. Im just tired of settling and i dont feel like others should have to either. I never feel sexy but thinking this makes me feel confident and sexy for once. Just.. let me know when it starts going to my head, deal? Haha