Monthly Archives: February 2013

It’s not about the grade, it’s about the experience…….




Words cannot express how much I hate group projects. A teacher told me the above quote during a ridiculous group project where none of the people would get in contact with me before the day assignments were due. 

I am currently in a group where we have to create a product that can be compared and competitive in the market. They decide they want some type of gpa system that connects to objects like keys and phone, that is solar powered. There will be a system on you computer of phone via an app, that lets you locate an object. And, apparently, you can report an object missing or stolen.

I have several problems with this.

1. GPA systems stop being popular when iphones became dominate. GPA systems were hard to work and caused lots of accidents. Not to mention, they are the butt of every insurance commercial joke

2. They did not describe how the product will look or anything else about it. They just said it would be solar powered. Well, I dont know about you but when was the last time you left your phone or keys out in the open sun? Overexposure to sun actually damages your phone, and keys left in the open are more likely to get stolen. So basically  there is no way to charge this product that was described.

3. Let’s say you report your product stolen. How is the company going to help you? You already have the app to locate your item, so why do you need to report the item? Maybe for statistical reports of the things that dont get found, but this company wont care about your missing item. It was their product and all you can do is pray you still have the warranty for your product. 

4. There is only one product like it in the market, Cobra tag. This product is old and know but no one has one and no one needs it. They want me to compare this product to products like it in the market and there are none. 


I have learned that people who dont know anything about marketing, technology, and creating demand, should not be a doing a product like this. There is and never will be a demand for this product, there is not enough information about this product for me to sell it, the characteristics explained don’t make complete sense, and the aspects of the product were created around a cute idea and not a logical product that could sell. 


Things I’ve got to do…


Im creating a list of things ive half finished. Im gonna finish everything as soon as possible:
1. Learn guitar (electric/acoustic)
2. Write a song a day
3. Sing a song
4. Run a mile
5. Growing a garden
6. Designing my own shoes

Whovians are full of information


Ive had some time to contemplate and what does it get me? 

Me quitting my job. Yes. I did the young adult thing and quit a job less than a month into it. It was causing me physical and psychological pain. Plus, I didn’t have time to write anymore. I started to lose all my hobbies. I need a 9 to 5, not a 2pm to 2am with a 15 minute break. No thank you. 

I went to an amazing Whovians singles night for Doctor who fans. I brought my mother but i mostly went to gain friends. I dont have any here. What i learned was that I may have a problem. Im not attracted to anyone. I looked around the room and felt no real attraction to anyone. I did not find a guy that i wanted to spend my whole night chatting with, and giving my number to. I thought about giving my number to a guy dressed as The Master, but I just wasnt feeling it. So maybe its me? I have two theories about this: 

Theory #1: My standards are too high.

I would say this is true, if this were high school. In high school, I had outrageous standards. The guy had to be emo, white and skinny. He had to speak perfect english and have the personality of Gerard Way of My chemical romance. But now i have learned that people are beautiful. I don’t really have many standards anymore. I like to get to know people. If we have a nice conversation and I blush at one point, or get cotton mouth. Then its a yes. Too often now I find myself going after guys I dont really like enough to date. The thought process is”Hmm…. That person is cool. I wonder what it would be like to date him? Let’s see.” I dont really like them with a fiery burning passion. I don’t really like them. Its straight curiosity. Then, when i get bored, i break up with them. Its straight up sadist, masochistic, and selfishly heartless. 

Theory #2: Maybe I’m asexual?

Asexual: refrains from expressing any sexual desires towards others. That almost sounds right. I think I may have set myself up for failure. Since I was in elementary school, I have reframed from telling people how I feel. (Ill explain in a later post my elementary school fear) I am often afraid of telling people how i feel because im worried they may find me unattractive. I tell myself in my mind that I dont have the right to tell a guy, regardless of how attractive, that I like him. And in the longrun, I tell myself that I dont really like that guy. I am much better off trying to have a friend than dating when i know it wont work. 

On the other hand, I have been near a guy that literally caused a waterfall in my panties. And the other day, a guy leaned in close to me to show me something, and i could feel the heat from his body, which made me blush. So, I may be setting unrealistic expectations for myself. I daydream a lot about falling in love and dating different types of guys. So I may hav accidentally made myself asexual. But, I am not afraid! I am not worried about approaching a hot guy and holding a conversation with them. I have to let their mind and personality speak before i acknowledge their attractiveness. 

So I am just not quite sure what to think anymore. I may have a problem, or I may not. Im just not attracted to a normal guy. I dont have a type, but yet, i do have one but I dont know it. 

If anyone has any advice, feel free to comment, or tell me how ridiculous I am. 

I know I talk some shit but…



If you havent noticed from my blog, I tal shit about guys.. a lot. And it’s not because I don’t have any men in my life. I have plenty of male friends and I always tend to get along with them better then women. So I thought, since I talk shit all the time, I may just talk about my personal dream guy. 

When I look back at my childhood, I was not normal. All the other girls in my class wanted to be princesses, while I wanted to be Aladin. Or a lion on the Lion King. While other girls were dreaming about prince charming and their future weddings, I dreamed of owning a digimon and waking up to Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon in my bed. YES. I am strange, and sometimes a bit crazy. But all the great people in history were crazy, so it’s like a compliment. 

My dream guy needs soul. Not soul like being Gangster or a rapper. But straight up Motown dirty soul. Yes, I prefer white guys, preferably with big noses, and red hair.

I guess my dream guys would include:

Image Eric Hutchinson

I don’t know what it is but there is something about a white guy who has soul, that is completely sexy. He sings the truth with an amazing melody. I freaked the hell out when he responded to me on Twitter. 

I also love me some Joe Brooks, Justin Nozuka, Matt Nathanson, Jason Mraz, Andy Grammar, and Paolo Nutini. They sing about appreciate women for who they are, not the way they want a skinny body that they can fuck for 5 minutes and get bored. They have the attitudes of men who would marry someone they loved in a heartbeat. I did meet one guy like these guys in college but he was so sweet and wholesome and more christian than i had ever seen and he made me look like a harlot in comparison. But we were friends for a while and I never got butterflies around him. 

But yeah, I just want a soulful guy who has been around people of different cultures and appreciate the amazing people in the world, like I do. I want someone who doesnt make me realize every waking moment that i’m their “black girlfriend.” It’s been so long since I’ve talked to a guy and gotten completely tongue-tied and dry-mouthed because they were that awesome! 

Rule #8: You’re allowed to like what you like



Scenario 1:

You’re reading your favorite magazine and your significant other comes over and looks at what you’re reading. You hear them laugh, then sit down. You ask what is so funny and they say, “Nothing. I just can’t believe you read magazines like Cosmo and Glamour who think they know what men want.” You frown. “Well, they ask  guys what they think.”

“How do you really know? They always come up with something stupid. You need to read something else that isn’t stupid.”

Scenario 2:

You find something really cool or really fun (like a youtube video or tv show) and you want to show your ‘man’. You bring it to him and he watches two seconds and turns it off, right there, and walks away saying, “I just cant watch this.” and they walk away.

Now… This happens to me in every relationship and it pisses me off probably more than a guy telling me he wished I would change something about my body. I tried to show a guy i liked something really funny, and it was incredibly funny, then he turned it off saying he was done. He didnt even give it a chance. I also like to read Cosmo, but he gave me extreme hell about it because he saw something on college humor making fun of the sex articles in the magazine, believing it to be true and automatically gained an opinion about a magazine he has never even opened. He made me feel bad about it and i got sad. Whenever someone makes you stop liking your interests because they think they are stupid….GET OUT!!

You will never be happy. I used to never be happy in relationships before because guys would make fun of what i like. I would get insulted and feel bad about liking my girly stuff. In the end, I would give it all up. I was never happy until we broke up when i started doing things i used to love and saw how angry it made my boyfriend. I would always try to show them things, and because they werent interested in what i was saying and showing them, they would walk away like i wasnt trying to share something.

I feel like its incredibly selfish when someone you’re with wont let you share something with them just becase they arent interested. Arent people youre with supposed to want to know more about  you? They aren’t supposed to dismiss you just because its not something they automatically like. Being in a couple means you share everything with each other. You learn things about each other and love everything about each other. You’re supposed to love everything about that person, even the things you hate. Thats what a relationship is supposed to be.

Instead i find close-minded guys who bitch like women on their periods when i have my own interests because im not dismissive about what i love to do and read. Remember that guy i talked about earlier? The one who made fun of me for liking Cosmo? Well, he did it way too many times, and I cursed him out. He was fussing about a magazine article where researchers gave trivia about the truth about penises. He fussed because he didn’t think it was right. He yelled and fussed about how magazines give you the wrong idea about men and how they don’t know anything and it’s all fabricated and blah blah blah.

I stopped him. “LOOK!! Just because you think everything on the internet is true doesn’t mean that it is! The people in this magazine actually do research and ask guys what turns them on. They even give the guys’ twitter adresses to prove they are real. They have reports from researchers that support their articles.”

His response? “Oh really? I would like to see those research reports because i doubt they have them. Its a bunch of crap.”

Me: “I bet if you call them and ask for the actual research reports, they can send them to you! How about you ask those dumb asses on Reddit, or whereever the fuck you get your information, to supply you with some tangible research. Until then, im gonna keep reading my magazines and i dont want to hear a damn thing about it from you!”

That may seem mean, but you dont know this guy. He believes everything he reads on Reddit as truth because, i suspect, he was too scared to go out and live life. He lives life bi-curiously through the internet, even sex. All he watches is porn and reddit shit. End. Of.

Yes, I sound mean but sometimes you have to stand up for what you want to do. There are quite a few guys out there who don’t want you to have your own hobbies. Just beware and continue to love what you love because those things make you who you are.

PS. let me just say that I have always read Cosmopolitan since I was little. Everything i know how to do came from that magazine, and i have had rave reviews. So…yeah. He can suck it!