Tag Archives: Clear mind

Car accidents and boy trouble….

Standard

It does not seem like those two things go together but I have a perfectly good explanation as to why they fit together.

Grandma and I got into a car accident today. It was bumper to bumper traffic and a man in a huge F350 pickup truck slammed into the rear of 1991 steel chevy pick up truck which slammed into the back of our car. If the kid behind us didnt have his foot on the breaks, we would have seriously been injured. Our trunk got smashed in but everything works. The trucks had barely any problems but the kid behind us got whip lash so bad that the back of his head busted the glass window behind his head. He was bleeding bad but he didnt want to go to the hospital due to his insurance not kicking in yet. We are all fine, and the car still runs even though it currently looks like shit. Unfortunately, this meant me not going to church:
#1 because I had not eaten,
#2 Mom was so worried she had a panic attack at the house,
#3 I was not feeling well,
#4 grandma was not in a state to drive.
Grandma was very shaken up, she doesnt handle stress well, so I had to take over and call the cops, get both of us checked out by the EMTs and call the insurance company all while keeping mom updated. Mom was very proud of me for taking control even though I had never been in an accident before.

Grandma is fine, just incredibly tired with low sugar. Me on the other hand, I accidentally hit myself in the face with my hand which has resulted in a sore nose and my left shoulder is giving me fits. Now that I am home, my legs are vibrating but it could be the shock of the event. Its been hours and I am just now calming down. My mind keeps switching between being sleepy and wide awake. I just cant relax. The oddest thing is that I knew we were about to get into a crash right before it happened. I felt it coming. I had not seen anything or head breaks squealing. We just stopped and about 10 second later an overwhelming feeling took over that something unfortunate was coming. and BOOM!! Engage whiplash.

Now I’m sitting on my floor, working on my costume, and talking to my ex-ish person. Here is how boy trouble and car accidents come together. I had a guy from my past that I cursed out for being a jerk, text me. He told me I was right about our previous argument and proceeded to chat me up. I knew what was coming. He was gonna try to flirt. So I told him that his flirtation is wasted because I am looking for someone who loves me and isn’t just interested in the sex they got from their previous partners. I told him I am not interested in having sex with anyone until I am married because I dont see the point in sharing something intimate with someone who couldnt care less what happened to you after unless it involves sexting and making plans for more sex. He was accepting but told me not to give up on guys. I never said I gave up! I just said that I am not subscribing to his type of love.

Sorry, not sorry.

Then I told my ex about the accident. He just gave me a lecture about how sometimes cars cant take a beating and how being in an accident is statistically rare and how I should feel lucky because accidents like that may never happen to me again. (He seriously said this, I have the messages!!!!) His only sentiment was in the form of sarcasm, “Well I take it you are okay if you can text”.

ASSHOLE. Sorry, I have been trying to stop cursing but he deserves that. I just wanted to know that he cares that I am okay, I didnt ask for a backhanded get well message and a lecture on statistics of car accidents. Basically, He made me feel like crap. Just thinking about talking to him annoys me. He just makes me feel down about myself. I used to think that we would be great together when he grew up a bit and decided that complimenting girls was something he would fathom doing.

I’m over it. Officially, just over him. Everyone else was worried and made sure I was fine. Him, nope. Fear of losing one of the few people that talks to him is not an emotion he understands. I just told him that and he is not going to be happy with the message I sent him and I half regret it but not really. He can handle it. I didnt call him names or anything like that, just told him the truth and ended the conversation.

I think God just used this experience to allow me to re-think my choice in guys/friends. Recently, I’ve had weird happenings with a particular guy. He recently started talking to me and we relate on many things (Doctor Who, video games). Basically, he fit into my friend type/group so well that I barely recognized that he slipped in my group of friends. We dont hang out a lot but when we do, its amazing. Recently, we find ourselves catching eyes and he stares at me. It’s weird. He has decided giving me hugs is a great idea every time he sees me and is always bringing up the things I’m interested in. I don’t jump to conclusions but I can say that I am enjoying having someone taking interests in things that I enjoy and not being afraid to let their freak flag fly. It’s refreshing. I don’t think he likes me because I have not been trying to attract anyone. Ive gained 20 pounds because i’ve just been fine with who I am. I want to be 100% myself all the time. So it’s odd that someone likes who I am.

Anyway, connecting the two….Basically, Ive been thinking about him a lot and feeling loved thanks to my lovely friends at church. Then I pick up my phone, text that asshole, and I immediately regret my existence. I’m taking this as a sign that this guy is not someone I should be with. If I died, he would just say “my condolences, here is a card for the best prices for used car parts and a groupon for cheap grave sites.” <——— That's all true and I am being kind. No tact. So for now, I'm gonna stay awake and work on my costume, keep stretching to check for internal injuries, keep thanking God for my friends at church, and keep thinking about a good guy and never text that ASSHOLE again.

I don't want his type of sympathy or love.